Notes to follow our first EFT session ~
I've prepared these notes to remind you of the acupressure points to tap, the wording, etc. I've also included my recommendations about how best to proceed, following each of the 3 responses of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
There are plenty of EFT sites to be found on the internet - of varying quality. If you're interested, I recommend you go to ‘the source’ starting with The Basic Recipe - as described by the founder of EFT, Gary Craig.
Click on these links for Gary Craig's basic recipe video and article.
You'll find everyone taps slightly differently. EFT practitioners vary how they use the tapping points, sequence, and the words/phrasing.
This tree diagram for example, is on another very different site - www.thetappingsolution.com - but is also very useful in reminding you to always aim for the roots (limiting self-beliefs) that are holding you back - something well worth discussing in further sessions. See also this very useful page https://www.thetappingsolution.com/tapping-101/
The different approaches may at first seem confusing; that is until you begin to realise how robust and forgiving the technique is. My advice is to simply experiment, keeping what works for you and leaving aside what doesn't!
That said, I do recommend that you ALWAYS include a set-up phrase/balancing statement something similar to -
"Even though [SPECIFICALLY describe the issue/challenge], I deeply and completely love and accept myself "
And if these words don’t yet ring true for you - say something along the lines of -
"Even though [SPECIFICALLY describe the issue/challenge], what if I could deeply and completely love and accept myself?" - ie teasing yourself into self-acceptance.
And remember the 'bathroom homework' (i.e., to tap frequently, whether or not you feel the need).
ABCD -
These four steps summarise my current approach of ‘the basic recipe.’ For me, working towards acknowledging the underlying positive intention behind the behaviour or thought pattern; self-compassion, unconditional acceptance, and gratitude are crucial to success.
(Note; its not unusual for these underlying positive intentions to be based on earlier mistaken unconscious beliefs which we've since innocently been using to create our moment to moment reality).
ACKNOWLEDGE
What are you aware of that is bothering you – and blocking you from being how you would like to be?
Notice what is happening to you. e.g., I’m shouting, I’m crying, I’m silent, I’m wobbly. Get the name and address! IE – What is a name of the feeling behind this? e.g., frustration, anger, sadness, anxiety. And where is this feeling in your body? e.g., throat, heart, chest, arms, back, stomach.
Where does this feeling take you? What event does it remind you of?
What rules & beliefs emerge? Give it a title, as if it were a film or chapter in a book.
ASK: On a scale of 0-10, where 10 is the strongest, how intense is the feeling or thought?
BALANCE
Use the balancing (also known as set-up) statement to restore balance in your mind-body, between the masculine/yang/push and feminine/yin/pull energies.
While tapping the karate point (outside edge of hand between the base of little finger and wrist), say (aloud or at least whisper so that your move your lips): “Even though [describe the intrusive thought, emotion, feeling, or sensation]. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” (OR “I’d love to love and accept myself…” OR simply ‘and “I’m okay” OR "I choose to let it go ..."*)
REPEAT THIS ‘BALANCING or SETUP STATEMENT’ x 3.·
CLEAR
Now that you've 'set up' your energy system, you can continue to dissolve and clear the stuck energies by using simple reminder phrases.
While tapping the eyebrow point say simple words that keep your focus on the problem. e.g., “They were unfair, he/she hurt me, I’m so sad".
You'll typically say between 5-7 words whilst tapping each point, either keeping the same words or varying them slightly as your thoughts change from point to point.
NOTE: IN THIS CLEARING PHASE, YOU DO NOT NEED TO SAY THE FULL SET-UP STATAMENT. ONLY USE THE SET UP PHRASE AT THE BALANCE/SET STAGE (on karate point).
Repeat your reminder phrases, while tapping the points in the following sequence:
Eyebrow – above the nose, at the inner edge of the eyebrow. (All positions can be left/right)
The side of the eye – outer edge of eye, on eye socket bone.
Under eye – directly under pupil, on eye socket /cheekbone.
Under nose – above the top lip.
Chin – above chin, below lower lip.
Collarbone – flat of hand/fist – where you would pin on a medal.
Under arm – 4 inches under your armpit.
Collarbone – again flat of hand/fist – where you would pin on a medal.
ASK AGAIN: On a scale of 0-10, where 10 is the strongest, how intense is the feeling or thought?·
DEVELOP
Review and develop your words to specifically acknowledge the change in intensity, and also to describe any further arising aspects.
Following 1-2 rounds of tapping, review and continue a further series, fully acknowledging any change in intensity. Adjust and develop your words and phrases accordingly. e.g., “Even though my anger is lower – at a 4 – and I like that – I deeply and completely …”
Always return to the karate point and use a revised / different balancing statement, as new aspects arise – noticing the intensity of any new aspects. e.g., “Even though my anger is lower – my sadness is at 8 because [describe the issue] – I deeply and completely …”·
When tapping, you’ll experience one of three responses:
1) The emotional intensity eases, or –
2) The intensity stays the same, or -
3) The intensity increases
I’ll shortly explain how to continue for each response, but first – a little information about measuring the intensity.
You can use EFT energy tapping for reducing intrusive negative thoughts or beliefs and/or the accompanying experience of physical stress/static in the body. Whatever your purpose, it’s beneficial following a few ’rounds’ of tapping – to monitor the level of remaining intensity. The scale of measurement commonly used is known as the ‘SUDS’ (subjective units of distress) scale.
Once you’ve decided what issue you want to clear, before tapping, take time to ask yourself how high your level of physical or cognitive discomfort is. The more intense it is, the higher the level; 10 being the worst, and 0 being entirely at peace with yourself. This is, of course, subjective, but you are likely to find yourself being quite precise about it. Pause long enough to really acknowledge the discomfort – in as much detail as possible – so that you can build this into your tapping set-up statements and reminder phrases.
After a few rounds of tapping, or whenever you notice a definite change, stop, take a couple of deep breaths, and tune in again to see what level you’re at. The aim is to reduce this to at least below 3, and ideally 0, once you’re used to, and trust the technique.
Whatever the level is, write it down. So, for example, you might start with a high level of say, 8, which then reduces to 6, and then 3. It may then go up. An increase will usually indicate a change of aspect, a different underlying emotion or limiting belief, an internal resistance, or a movement closer to the roots of what’s blocking you. All of which give you more clarity on how to continue tapping! With an increase of intensity, its always good to go back to the set-up (balance) statement – adjusting your words accordingly. A little like moving to the next chapter.
How best to proceed -
R 1) The intensity eases? Say thank you to that part of you that is letting go!
The SUDS may reduce 1-2 at a time, in stages and for some issues, the fall may be more dramatic.
Each time you notice a reduction in intensity – acknowledge that a part of you has loosened its grip on the old pattern which was running, remembering that ALL our patterns of behaviour and thinking, at some level exist in an attempt to help us evolve as individuals.
Put simply – when a child draws a picture, and we acknowledge or praise them, they're then encouraged to continue drawing. The same with our subconscious. When through tapping, it dares to let go of an old redundant pattern of behaviour or thinking – and we acknowledge this – it will loosen its grip even more.
So – when you notice a reduction, record this on paper, and then continue with another round through acknowledging and giving the part of you running the pattern to reduce even further.
Eg, “Even though the sadness about […] in my chest was at 8, it is now at 6, and has changed to tingling in my arms – and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Then continue tapping around the face and body points, whilst repeating a reminder phrase … “this remaining sadness – still some sadness left – it was at 8 – and I’m still sad – but its down to 6 – and I like that it’s lower – thank you for being there – and you can go lower still”
R 2) The intensity stays the same? Be the ‘kind detective’!
When despite tapping a few rounds, there is no change in intensity – its good to become the kind detective (like Colombo!), to pause, go still inside, and ask yourself “What is REALLY behind this feeling?” Another good question to ask is “If I were to know what this is REALLY about – what might that be?” Or simply “What is it that makes me so distraught?”
Check also through all the senses – seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling – for a negative charge’ to clear.
Another useful check is to yourself on a scale of 0-10 how much you, for the change you’re working on – you
Deserve it?
Desire it?
Consider it possible?
Consider yourself capable of achieving?
Consider appropriate to the wider system? (What will the ripple effect be?)
Whichever of these limiting beliefs has, for you, the highest resistance – is well worth tapping on! So for example, if you get a reading of 8 resistance for you 'deserving' it, and this is higher than the others – in a new round of tapping with a set-up statement along the lines of “Even though I don’t deserve to … I deeply and completely love and accept myself." We can talk more about this if need be next time.
R 3) The intensity increases? – Keep tapping silently! Remember to breathe!
There may be times (relatively rare) when the intensity increases. If this occurs, it is usually – as I’ve already outlined above because there is a change of aspect, a different underlying emotion or limiting belief emerging, an internal resistance, or a movement closer to the roots of what’s blocking you. All of these will give you clarity on how to continue your tapping! Remember with any increase of intensity, to adjust the set-up (balance) statement.
Its always helpful to think of any increase in intensity in the following way –
Whenever an unresolved negative emotion, limiting belief or intrusive thought, blocks us from who we really are – there is an energy disturbance (static) in our mind-body. These knots of energy disturbance relating to unresolved issues in our lives are stored in the cells of our body – like capsules. These capsules, in turn, drain us of energy, and of our internal resources to enjoy life.
When we dissolve or transform a capsule of disturbed energy through tapping, other capsules can sometimes notice what’s happened, and how it feels good – and then in effect, want to ‘join the party’ and be released too! So, for example, you may clear a capsule of anger – and then a capsule of sadness or loneliness surfaces also wanting to be dissolved!
When this occurs, you may feel a sudden wave of intense emotion, overwhelm, and tears. With emotion like this, the good news is that no words are needed! Just keep your nerve, keep breathing (rather than hold your breath), and take care of and sooth the part of you hurting by continuing to tap around the face point silently.
When strong feelings surface, they just want to be acknowledged. Feelings just want to be … felt! And silent tapping 'in the moment' is a powerful and respectful way to do this. To stop tapping in these circumstances is to miss a golden opportunity to clear unresolved pain. To find the courage to continue silent tapping will move you to a different, and often more profound, calmer, relationship with yourself.
Experiment, always keep your words specific yet gentle - and let me know how you've found it next time.
And if you have any questions in the meantime - of course just drop me a line, in confidence, to info@philreed.co.uk
Enjoy!
Phil
'We're disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens.' Greek Philosopher Epictetus.
I've prepared these notes to remind you of the acupressure points to tap, the wording, etc. I've also included my recommendations about how best to proceed, following each of the 3 responses of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
There are plenty of EFT sites to be found on the internet - of varying quality. If you're interested, I recommend you go to ‘the source’ starting with The Basic Recipe - as described by the founder of EFT, Gary Craig.
Click on these links for Gary Craig's basic recipe video and article.
You'll find everyone taps slightly differently. EFT practitioners vary how they use the tapping points, sequence, and the words/phrasing.
This tree diagram for example, is on another very different site - www.thetappingsolution.com - but is also very useful in reminding you to always aim for the roots (limiting self-beliefs) that are holding you back - something well worth discussing in further sessions. See also this very useful page https://www.thetappingsolution.com/tapping-101/
The different approaches may at first seem confusing; that is until you begin to realise how robust and forgiving the technique is. My advice is to simply experiment, keeping what works for you and leaving aside what doesn't!
That said, I do recommend that you ALWAYS include a set-up phrase/balancing statement something similar to -
"Even though [SPECIFICALLY describe the issue/challenge], I deeply and completely love and accept myself "
And if these words don’t yet ring true for you - say something along the lines of -
"Even though [SPECIFICALLY describe the issue/challenge], what if I could deeply and completely love and accept myself?" - ie teasing yourself into self-acceptance.
And remember the 'bathroom homework' (i.e., to tap frequently, whether or not you feel the need).
ABCD -
These four steps summarise my current approach of ‘the basic recipe.’ For me, working towards acknowledging the underlying positive intention behind the behaviour or thought pattern; self-compassion, unconditional acceptance, and gratitude are crucial to success.
(Note; its not unusual for these underlying positive intentions to be based on earlier mistaken unconscious beliefs which we've since innocently been using to create our moment to moment reality).
ACKNOWLEDGE
What are you aware of that is bothering you – and blocking you from being how you would like to be?
Notice what is happening to you. e.g., I’m shouting, I’m crying, I’m silent, I’m wobbly. Get the name and address! IE – What is a name of the feeling behind this? e.g., frustration, anger, sadness, anxiety. And where is this feeling in your body? e.g., throat, heart, chest, arms, back, stomach.
Where does this feeling take you? What event does it remind you of?
What rules & beliefs emerge? Give it a title, as if it were a film or chapter in a book.
ASK: On a scale of 0-10, where 10 is the strongest, how intense is the feeling or thought?
BALANCE
Use the balancing (also known as set-up) statement to restore balance in your mind-body, between the masculine/yang/push and feminine/yin/pull energies.
While tapping the karate point (outside edge of hand between the base of little finger and wrist), say (aloud or at least whisper so that your move your lips): “Even though [describe the intrusive thought, emotion, feeling, or sensation]. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” (OR “I’d love to love and accept myself…” OR simply ‘and “I’m okay” OR "I choose to let it go ..."*)
REPEAT THIS ‘BALANCING or SETUP STATEMENT’ x 3.·
CLEAR
Now that you've 'set up' your energy system, you can continue to dissolve and clear the stuck energies by using simple reminder phrases.
While tapping the eyebrow point say simple words that keep your focus on the problem. e.g., “They were unfair, he/she hurt me, I’m so sad".
You'll typically say between 5-7 words whilst tapping each point, either keeping the same words or varying them slightly as your thoughts change from point to point.
NOTE: IN THIS CLEARING PHASE, YOU DO NOT NEED TO SAY THE FULL SET-UP STATAMENT. ONLY USE THE SET UP PHRASE AT THE BALANCE/SET STAGE (on karate point).
Repeat your reminder phrases, while tapping the points in the following sequence:
Eyebrow – above the nose, at the inner edge of the eyebrow. (All positions can be left/right)
The side of the eye – outer edge of eye, on eye socket bone.
Under eye – directly under pupil, on eye socket /cheekbone.
Under nose – above the top lip.
Chin – above chin, below lower lip.
Collarbone – flat of hand/fist – where you would pin on a medal.
Under arm – 4 inches under your armpit.
Collarbone – again flat of hand/fist – where you would pin on a medal.
ASK AGAIN: On a scale of 0-10, where 10 is the strongest, how intense is the feeling or thought?·
DEVELOP
Review and develop your words to specifically acknowledge the change in intensity, and also to describe any further arising aspects.
Following 1-2 rounds of tapping, review and continue a further series, fully acknowledging any change in intensity. Adjust and develop your words and phrases accordingly. e.g., “Even though my anger is lower – at a 4 – and I like that – I deeply and completely …”
Always return to the karate point and use a revised / different balancing statement, as new aspects arise – noticing the intensity of any new aspects. e.g., “Even though my anger is lower – my sadness is at 8 because [describe the issue] – I deeply and completely …”·
When tapping, you’ll experience one of three responses:
1) The emotional intensity eases, or –
2) The intensity stays the same, or -
3) The intensity increases
I’ll shortly explain how to continue for each response, but first – a little information about measuring the intensity.
You can use EFT energy tapping for reducing intrusive negative thoughts or beliefs and/or the accompanying experience of physical stress/static in the body. Whatever your purpose, it’s beneficial following a few ’rounds’ of tapping – to monitor the level of remaining intensity. The scale of measurement commonly used is known as the ‘SUDS’ (subjective units of distress) scale.
Once you’ve decided what issue you want to clear, before tapping, take time to ask yourself how high your level of physical or cognitive discomfort is. The more intense it is, the higher the level; 10 being the worst, and 0 being entirely at peace with yourself. This is, of course, subjective, but you are likely to find yourself being quite precise about it. Pause long enough to really acknowledge the discomfort – in as much detail as possible – so that you can build this into your tapping set-up statements and reminder phrases.
After a few rounds of tapping, or whenever you notice a definite change, stop, take a couple of deep breaths, and tune in again to see what level you’re at. The aim is to reduce this to at least below 3, and ideally 0, once you’re used to, and trust the technique.
Whatever the level is, write it down. So, for example, you might start with a high level of say, 8, which then reduces to 6, and then 3. It may then go up. An increase will usually indicate a change of aspect, a different underlying emotion or limiting belief, an internal resistance, or a movement closer to the roots of what’s blocking you. All of which give you more clarity on how to continue tapping! With an increase of intensity, its always good to go back to the set-up (balance) statement – adjusting your words accordingly. A little like moving to the next chapter.
How best to proceed -
R 1) The intensity eases? Say thank you to that part of you that is letting go!
The SUDS may reduce 1-2 at a time, in stages and for some issues, the fall may be more dramatic.
Each time you notice a reduction in intensity – acknowledge that a part of you has loosened its grip on the old pattern which was running, remembering that ALL our patterns of behaviour and thinking, at some level exist in an attempt to help us evolve as individuals.
Put simply – when a child draws a picture, and we acknowledge or praise them, they're then encouraged to continue drawing. The same with our subconscious. When through tapping, it dares to let go of an old redundant pattern of behaviour or thinking – and we acknowledge this – it will loosen its grip even more.
So – when you notice a reduction, record this on paper, and then continue with another round through acknowledging and giving the part of you running the pattern to reduce even further.
Eg, “Even though the sadness about […] in my chest was at 8, it is now at 6, and has changed to tingling in my arms – and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Then continue tapping around the face and body points, whilst repeating a reminder phrase … “this remaining sadness – still some sadness left – it was at 8 – and I’m still sad – but its down to 6 – and I like that it’s lower – thank you for being there – and you can go lower still”
R 2) The intensity stays the same? Be the ‘kind detective’!
When despite tapping a few rounds, there is no change in intensity – its good to become the kind detective (like Colombo!), to pause, go still inside, and ask yourself “What is REALLY behind this feeling?” Another good question to ask is “If I were to know what this is REALLY about – what might that be?” Or simply “What is it that makes me so distraught?”
Check also through all the senses – seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling – for a negative charge’ to clear.
Another useful check is to yourself on a scale of 0-10 how much you, for the change you’re working on – you
Deserve it?
Desire it?
Consider it possible?
Consider yourself capable of achieving?
Consider appropriate to the wider system? (What will the ripple effect be?)
Whichever of these limiting beliefs has, for you, the highest resistance – is well worth tapping on! So for example, if you get a reading of 8 resistance for you 'deserving' it, and this is higher than the others – in a new round of tapping with a set-up statement along the lines of “Even though I don’t deserve to … I deeply and completely love and accept myself." We can talk more about this if need be next time.
R 3) The intensity increases? – Keep tapping silently! Remember to breathe!
There may be times (relatively rare) when the intensity increases. If this occurs, it is usually – as I’ve already outlined above because there is a change of aspect, a different underlying emotion or limiting belief emerging, an internal resistance, or a movement closer to the roots of what’s blocking you. All of these will give you clarity on how to continue your tapping! Remember with any increase of intensity, to adjust the set-up (balance) statement.
Its always helpful to think of any increase in intensity in the following way –
Whenever an unresolved negative emotion, limiting belief or intrusive thought, blocks us from who we really are – there is an energy disturbance (static) in our mind-body. These knots of energy disturbance relating to unresolved issues in our lives are stored in the cells of our body – like capsules. These capsules, in turn, drain us of energy, and of our internal resources to enjoy life.
When we dissolve or transform a capsule of disturbed energy through tapping, other capsules can sometimes notice what’s happened, and how it feels good – and then in effect, want to ‘join the party’ and be released too! So, for example, you may clear a capsule of anger – and then a capsule of sadness or loneliness surfaces also wanting to be dissolved!
When this occurs, you may feel a sudden wave of intense emotion, overwhelm, and tears. With emotion like this, the good news is that no words are needed! Just keep your nerve, keep breathing (rather than hold your breath), and take care of and sooth the part of you hurting by continuing to tap around the face point silently.
When strong feelings surface, they just want to be acknowledged. Feelings just want to be … felt! And silent tapping 'in the moment' is a powerful and respectful way to do this. To stop tapping in these circumstances is to miss a golden opportunity to clear unresolved pain. To find the courage to continue silent tapping will move you to a different, and often more profound, calmer, relationship with yourself.
Experiment, always keep your words specific yet gentle - and let me know how you've found it next time.
And if you have any questions in the meantime - of course just drop me a line, in confidence, to info@philreed.co.uk
Enjoy!
Phil
'We're disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens.' Greek Philosopher Epictetus.