IT'S STILL INSIDE
I love it when a conversation brings a new way of seeing things or reminds us of something we feel we knew all along - but had long forgotten!
I'm grateful to have had such a conversation recently with a coaching client. The truth of her experience resonated strongly with me and reminded us both of an insight that came to her in another coaching conversation we'd had some months before.
We all 'hear' more, when we're quiet inside, and this it appears was what happened with her. Our conversation added to my intrigue around the perfect non-correlation between mood and psychological well-being! I was again reminded of what lies beneath our moment to moment experience.
My client, (I'll call Joanne) first worked with me several years ago and had recently, on a work promotion, returned for monthly coaching. Prior to our appointment, she had emailed warning me of her low and anxious state. In our conversation, she described how Sunday night she was tossing and turning with troublesome (and tearful) thoughts, really fearful that an old anxiety was returning - that it was 'still there' - and worrying that she just wasn't up to the demands of her recent promotion. After several hours of this, she got up to make a warm drink and settled just enough to get 2 hours sleep before attending a team day at work.
The team day was held off-site in a very tranquil setting - with their room overlooking beautiful gardens. As Joanne listened to how involved everyone was in their various projects, she had conflicting thoughts. Thoughts about how she felt alone, unsupported - and frustratingly, having recently joined them as their new team manager, not having her own lead on anything. All of this felt overwhelming and yet, at the same time, she loved the warmth of the people on the team and respected her manager.